Guess I'm a modder now

(Someone Cares)

So, it's not a secret I've been super into modding The Sims 4 lately. And it's been a lot of fun! Mostly because I focus on making my game less annoying. We know The Sims Team won't fix the mess they created.

I've also been having a lot of fun writing "documentation". Making notes about how I made them work, and my thought process. I just did it for the sake of it, because I thought it was exciting. And maybe it could help someone in the future, but I didn't count on it. I'm more into talking about the process than the outcome, and in teaching rather than handing the finished product. Someone very close to me told me no one would read it, that people would go directly to download the mods and not give mind to my "devlogs". But that was fine, I didn't do it for others to read. I did it for me.

(And in defence of that person, they didn't have ill will towards me. They were just being pragmatic.)

Turns out they were wrong, and I was wrong too.

I love being proven wrong.

My first mod was one I made ages ago. It consisted of making Sims drink a ridiculous amount of water. Then I stopped learning for years. I think I either lost interest, or had no idea of what to mod. That's a problem with me, I have 0 ideas when I actually want to try and learn something. Everyone is always saying that project based is the best learning approach, and this is true, but what happens when you have no ideas for projects? I still haven't figured that part out.

One day, I was in the middle of my 100 baby challenge that pivoted into my current attempt of my forever world. I have this Sim, who's the oldest. His name is Mistake Murphy and, in my mind, he loves photography more than anything, and he joined the Simfluencer career that came with High School Years. For that career, you need to raise the Entrepreneur skill to progress. And I figured you could do that when selling your pictures.

Turns out, you can't. Selling your pictures doesn't raise the Entrepreneur skill, but selling paintings and pottery does. And I thought "This doesn't make any sense". So I started looking for mods that fixed this. There were none.

"Well, I guess I'll do it myself, then!"

And I can't explain how overwhelming it is to begin modding this game. Documentation is scattered everywhere (and sometimes, outdated), there's no easy way to look up this super specific problem or question you have, and you're scared of seeming dumb.

Waffle's video "Learn by Viewing with the TDESC Builder!" was a Godsend! And after I made my mod, and it worked, I thought making documentation like that seemed fun. I don't love editing videos, but I like writing, and I needed something to do with this website.

I haven't documented or published every mod I've done, but I'm on it! I'm a little hesitant of calling it "documentation", so I tried calling it "walkthrough". I'm still not settled in that term, or in "devlog". Either way, my intention was to make things easier for me, and for anyone who might stumble upon them, but I never thought anyone would see it, read it, or care.

For me, the process of doing things is more fun than the outcome or the result. I enjoy learning and tinkering. And a friend told me it's a bit odd I write without a message or outcome in mind. I've always known I'm a little weird, so I try to not fight it or get discouraged when people aren't as excited or interested as me. Or when they can't understand a word I'm saying. As I said in my manifesto, I scream to the void and get surprised when the void whispers back. It's, most of the time, a nice surprise.

I started uploading my mods to Itch.io because I didn't want to mix my Patreon with modding,and it's easier to find mods in Itch.io than in Patreon. As I said, I haven't uploaded every mod I've made, but I upload the ones I think are useful, like fixing the behaviour of the clients in the Naturopath career, preventing adults from complaining about prom, fixing things that annoy me here and there.

And right now, in Itch.io, my mods have almost a thousand downloads. Someone added my mods to be tracked in Scarlet's Realm. Another person even paid for the Naturopath Career Client Fix. I couldn't believe it. I still can't believe it. I'm not a person who looks at likes, kudos, upvotes, or even cares about them. I'm just surprised someone even looked my way, let alone someone thinking "I need this in my game. More people need this in their games."

That's not the part that made me the happiest, though. I tend to lurk the Creator's Musings server and answer questions when I can. Someone had a question about strings, and I immediately jumped to help, because I struggled with strings a lot.

I was about to try and teach them step by step. Then I remembered "Hey. I already wrote this down on my website". And while I was a little embarrassed about that plug, I shared the link anyway.

A couple minutes later, I see this message.

"omg this page is a goldmine of information and you get to things in exactly at the right speed - because I need the extra info lol"

I was really stunned for a moment. Then I took my screenshot and went directly to my friends.

"I'm going to cry, I never thought anyone would find my ramblings useful"

I know it sounds silly, and I'm embarrassed as I write this. But how do I explain to people what's like to do things for the sake of it, knowing you'll be met with silence or a nod, and then finding out that others actually care?

I'm so, so used to being more or less on my own, and I've been struggling to make amends with the fact that I'm not the only one who cares.

Knowing that my ramblings helped someone is one of the best feelings I've had in a while. The entire day I've been wanting to cry without knowing why. Maybe this is why.

Since Itch.io has been having problems, I decided to try CurseForge. I tried with the Social Bunny Tweaks mod for no reason in particular. I don't know why I was so sure they were going to reject me.

But they didn't.

Seeing my mod in CurseForge, in Scarlet's Realm list, people thanking me because I somehow helped them, someone liking my mod so much they paid for it when there wasn't a need to... I think everything happening at once made me go "Oh, I guess I'm a modder now."

And I feel it's a little silly that I needed external validation to call myself a modder, but it is what it is. It's the truth.

I'm a little scared of writing this, of putting it up in my website. But I'm tired of people pretending nothing matters, that no one cares about anything, and that nothing ever happens. I'm tired of people pretending to not be human. I don't want to live in or feed a place that doesn't acknowledge I'm a human being.

I don't even have a good "Too long; didn't read" for this one. I hate those things. What's the end line then? What's the reason I wrote this? There's no purpose or reason to what I do, other than "I just felt like it and I thought it was cool." At this point in my life I'm used to being the only one that thinks things are cool. Knowing there's people out there who also think my thoughts are cool is something I can't describe.

I don't know anyone in real life that's into the same stuff as me. Most of the time, my loved ones struggle to understand what I'm talking about. They listen, but don't get it. I must sound alien to them. I speak two languages and none can build bridges that let me truly connect with people. No matter what I say or do, it's disconnected, senseless or misconstrued. I don't feel lonely. Or maybe I've felt so lonely my entire life that I'm just used to it at this point.

Perhaps that's why I got so emotional when the void answered back.

September 20th, 2025.